Guilt addiction
it's been roughly 4 years and 4 months since i left university..which also means it been that long since i left my studying life and started the real world life...where it involves dogs eating dogs and where the rabbit actually win the race..despite what the story tells u when u were young..i think it was just a scam started by the tortoise at that time which involved some big multinational bucks
i remember when i was in the study life..hours not spent in the class were always "should be" designated to doing assignments, research on subjects, reading books...and so on and so forth..not like i really adhered to that but generally that was the rule and that was what i did 'sometimes'..more accurately..during desperate times..which maybe could explain why i was not the top student :p
and the times when i was not doing it..it was always filled with guilt...when i was watching movies when im supposed to be doing research for my thesis, when i had a night out with the boys instead of studying for the exams...but that period of time has passed now..at least for the time being..but the guilt feeling is still haunting me at times up till now..when i come back from work...switch on my laptop to watch movies or surf the net, go out for a coffee and a dose of people watching..i always have the feeling that what im doing is wrong and im suppose to be studying or something..
but in actual fact, im eligible to do that..i no longer have assignments, i have no more exams..i enrolled in the rat race..wake up in the morning, go to work, come back, enjoy life, sleep, and repeat the same thing again the next day..so...why am i still addicted to this feeling of guilt? did i forget to switch some buttons off when i left university?
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